Community Corner
Social Network Helps Mentally Disabled Find Love and Friendship
Michael Gomes had a vision when he created a social network to connect with others but he never realized how much success his network would have.
Michael Gomes has solved one of his biggest problems.
Years ago, he wanted to be in a meaningful relationship, but had a hard time meeting other mentally disabled people like himself.
So in 1996, with the help of the Arc of Southington Executive Director Sandy Amato, Gomes created "Connecting Friends," a program that helped those with mental handicap socialize and find friends and partners.
"It was hard meeting people. It's more fun being with someone than to be alone," Gomes said. "You understand each other better when you're the same."
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At first, the Arc was able to hire a program director to manage the group, taking applications for the network and setting up times for members to meet when a good "match" was found.
The group, now called the Social Network, also held dances, where staff members would encourage others to socialize and form friendships or romance, if desired.
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"[For] people with mental disabilities, it can be really hard making friends or finding someone, so it works out well because they can really get to know each other this way," Amato said. "There were about 130 people that came to the dances from all over the state when it first started."
Unfortunately, the Arc couldn't continue funding the position that matched potential prospects, but a dance is held once a year at the Cadillac Ranch, drawing more than 100 people statewide each fall.
That's where Gomes, 61, met Lisa, his girlfriend of two years.
"She was the first girl I really liked," Gomes said. "We have fun hanging out, we go bowling, and to the movies."
Amato said other couples have found lasting romance through the group as well, and still others have made meaningful friendships.
Arc client Kim Antol was reunited with a long-lost friend at a dance several years ago.
"I think it's fun for people to experience that, and communicate with each other," Antol said. "We have a blast."
Gomes said it's been very rewarding, being able to give others like him the chance at making closer connections. While no engagement has taken place yet between him and Lisa, he hopes to marry and start a family some day.
"I do want to have kids," Gomes said. "That would be good."
