Pizza really is an amazing invention.
From the ovens of ancient Greece, where it was initially nothing more than flatbread topped with oils and cheese to test the heat, to the brick structures in Italy where the art of the pizza was perfected, it's hard to deny the amount of delicious pleasure that the flat, round pies covered in sauce and cheese can bring.
One thing that I absolutely love about pizza is that no two are ever the same and no matter what your favorite flavors might be, there is a way to tailor the taste with your favorite toppings.
Why did this topic come up today, you ask? Well, it's simple. Here in the media, I have been part of an election night tradition that has spanded my entire career: pizza on election night.
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Personally, I am a very big fan of what I like to call the "Fenway Special." It's a heavenly creation of a hefty amount of sausage, peppers and onions. Hold on, I need to take a moment to grab a slice...
(Awkward Silence)
Now that I've got that covered, I need to ask a very important question. In the travels from the gourmet restaurants of Italy to locations around the world, what the heck went wrong? There are some toppings and pizza ideas out there that should never, EVER, have been turned into a pizza.
I mean, come on Japan! A pizza made with a crust designed around mini hot dogs rolled in bacon and cheese, topped with everything on a supreme pizza (and then some), and finished with a glaze of maple syrup and ketchup.
Seriously. It's called the "Japan Mega Pizza." Thanks for that, Pizza Hut. In no way does it look disgusting. Riiiiiight...
Somewhere along the line, it seems a few pizza chains lost touch with what should be on a pizza in favor of simply finding the oddest pizzas they could possibly sell to someone who was in the middle of a drunken celebration and forgot how to order.
Today, with the Mega Pizza serving as a disgusting but still edible starting point, we take a look at some of the worst pizza toppings in history. And they are BAD! So here goes:
5. Happy Meal Pizza: Who needs McDonald's when you can take the fattiest part of the fast-food chain and put it all on one delicious pizza? Well, on one pizza anyway.
The pizza is loaded with toppings, from cheeseburgers to french fries and chicken nuggets. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to take a raincheck on this one.
4. Nino's "Luxury" Pizza: OK, first of all I need to get something off my chest. If you are choosing a medium pizza that will lead to a $1,000 bill, then you have entirely way too much money to blow.
The pizza is topped with six varieties of caviar, chives, fresh lobster and creme fraiche. It's the creation of Nino's Bellissima in New York City. Thanks for the offer guys, but I'll pass.
3. Nutella Pizza: Who doesn't love the delicious Nutella taste? The fact of the matter is although it is a delicious spread for sandwiches and toast, it just really doesn't belong on a pizza.
I would have to imagine this is something designed along the lines of a dessert pizza, given it's usually topped with fruit as well. I'm sure some people will arue how this is the most delicious thing on Earth, but I think I'll keep the jar in the cabinet for a different occasion, thanks.
2. Roasted Scoprion Pizza: My first reaction when I saw this was, you did what with the crazy insect that nearly put me in the hospital? But seriously, you have to see how this works.
They roast the scorpions, apparently live as you might a lobster, then crush it into a powder. Check out the link above for more and enjoy! I won't be joining you for dinner tonight, however.
1. Squid Ink Pizza: Why is my pizza black and glistening? Is that burnt? No? Then what in the name of the pizza God's is going on? Oh, it's a squid ink pizza! That sounds...like someone else's order.
I am absolutely baffled that this could even be considered a delicatessen in some Asian and even European countries. Whatever floats your boat, I guess...but I will try almost anything and I won't be eating that.
With that said, I find myself no longer hungry for the remaining "Fenway Special." Anyone for leftovers?
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
It's only Wednesday, but it feels like the weekend should have been here two days ago. You have a full plate ahead, lots of work left to do, classes at or college to sit through or are just plain in need of a break. We have you covered.
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