Community Corner

Comic Relief: Hitchhiker's Guide to Surviving the DMV

A little "Comic Relief!" to help you smile through the trials and tribulations of the mid-week madness. This week we are taking a look at some of the best ways to keep your sanity while trying to transfer registration at the Connecticut Department of Moto

I know what you are thinking. From the title of this one, I’m sure you are already thinking this week’s topic is little more than a punch line from a terrible joke – but I promise you, this one is worth reading.

To this point in my life, I had actually been fortunate in terms of dealing with the Connecticut Department of Motor Vehicles. I have renewed my license several times, first in Massachusetts and later here in Connecticut when I became an official resident after college. I have transferred registration, completed late registration and more. The longest I ever waited was 45 minutes. Well, Friday was an entirely different experience for me.

Those who have read ‘Comic Relief!’ in the past know , my 2002 red Dodge Neon SXT that came to the end of her life on Interstate 91 on Easter Sunday.

Well, this job I have – as great as it is – demands that you have a reliable form of transportation and also leaves you with little free time during regular business hours. A Catch-22 for those who are trying to put a new vehicle on the road.

I am happy to report that Wally the Green Monster, my 2001 green Chevy Impala, is now on the road. And all it took was seven hours of struggling and $350. Thankfully, a good friend and The Granbys Patch Editor Ted Glanzer came along for this wild ride or who knows if it would have gotten done.

So today, I am mixing a little humor with a much larger dose of advice to help you avoid unnecessary steps at the DMV. Here are my takeaways from last week’s debacle.

1. Find a Good Friend – And Be Prepared to Use Them: Ted volunteered, something I am guessing he would have second thoughts about doing again given our experience. By the way, check out in the comedic ‘Daily 5’ on The Granbys Patch.

Ted was instrumental in the first half of the journey and I literally was a hitchhiker for the better part of the morning and early afternoon, hence the title of this article. Just be prepared to pay for it when you ask because you are likely to owe them dinner or a round of drinks at the bar afterwards or even worse yet - gulp - helping them move.

2. Have the Paperwork Ready: This seems like common sense, but you will need to fill out not one, but two change of title and registration forms to transfer an out of state car that is no longer registered. Why? Well, you’ll read about that in a minute.

Even if you are seeking a basic change of information or new license, it’s best to have a couple copies as well as two forms of identification to assure you have everything you need. It’s also a smart idea to change insurance in advance and make sure your provider will have some paper form they can give you through email or fax. You can’t register without it.

For copies of the forms you will need, visit the Connecticut DMV website.

3. Check to Make Sure Excise Tax Bills Are Paid: So what happens if you have outstanding excise tax that you haven’t paid? Well in that case, you get the fun advantage of stepping out of line and traveling to that Town Hall in order to get a special paid form giving you permission to register.

I had an outstanding tax I was not aware of in New Britain from a previous residency there and it cost me. Don't get me wrong, I do take the blame for it being late and unpaid, but I waited an hour and a half, only to be told it was time for me to take the ride. Luckily, I chose the New Britain DMV, but I have heard horror stories of people having to travel across the state. For those wondering, apparently at nearly 40 mills, a Dodge Neon worth very little still garners a $110 tax bill. Go figure.

4. If You Have to Leave for Any Reason, Beg to Come Back Without Waiting Again: Really. This was the smartest thing we did all day. After buttering up to the clerk, Ted was able to get us permission to skip the line not once, but twice as long as we went back that same day. Calling a woman beautiful and intelligent goes a long way, whether you mean it or not!

5. When Expenses Start to Mount, You Cannot Pay in Magic Beans: Believe it or not, this was a question that Ted asked the clerk not once, but twice. The answer was the same both times: NO.

We’ve discussed the first cost for registration, a $110 excise tax, but when I say that the charges will mount, I truly mean it when I say the charges will mount.

I bought the car from a private entity, with bill of sale, for less than 50 percent of the value of the vehicle and the result was a full tax on 100 percent of the NADA suggested purchase price. That mounted to $150 in itself, or more than 25 percent of what I had actually paid for the car. I then had to pay a title transfer fee of $25 on top of that, required to continue the registration process. I also needed to pay a $21 transfer fee to receive a temporary plate in order to get the vehicle inspected – another $20 fee – so that I could go back and pay an additional $56 fee to transfer fee to use the plates previously on Bessie. For those keeping tally, that’s $272 in fees.

Speaking of added transfer fees, that brings me to my next point…

6. If Possible, Get the Inspection in Advance: If you acquire a vehicle from out of state, this is not possible. If you are buying an in state vehicle, then negotiate as part of the sale that the inspection be conducted as part of the sale agreement.

It will save you the unnecessary time of leaving the DMV and returning multiple times in the same day, as I was forced to do, or having to wait in line to come back a different day. Furthermore, it will help you avoid that in between temporary registration fee of $21. It may not seem like a whole lot, but when you are paying for everything else, it can be used to compensate that aforementioned friend (from point #1).

7. Comedy and a Smile Are Necessary: This is absolutely the most essential part to success at the DMV. Not only will it help keep you calm, it will improve the service you receive and possibly prevent additional tasks in the seemingly endless list (see point #4).

How’s that saying go? When life throws you lemons, grab a bottle of vodka and throw a party?

Just one last piece of advice for you today: After handling all this DMV craziness related to vehicle registration, there is no better way to celebrate than to go an automatic car wash. You get to sit with your newly registered vehicle and act like a kid again as the system drives the car through the wash for you.

As Ted so eloquently put it, “They managed to entertain me more in a three minute period than I have been the last dozen times I went to an amusement park.”

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

It's only Wednesday, but it feels like the weekend should have been here two days ago. You have a full plate ahead, lots of work left to do, classes at Southington High School or college to sit through or are just plain in need of a break. We have you covered.


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