Comic Relief: 'The Stupidest Question Ever Asked'

My fifth-grade teacher once told us jokingly that, “there are no stupid questions…only stupid people.” It’s a good hypothesis, but with all due respect to Mr. Foster, who was one of my favorite teachers ever, I disagree. There is such thing as a stupid question.

I can’t speak for you, but I know that there are many times when I have heard some quite intelligent company utter words that are, for lack of a better term, just plain dumb.

So today, we are asking you this very dumb question in itself: what is the stupidest question you’ve ever heard? We don’t want names or anything, keep it classy, but by all means be sure to weight in on the topic. Have some fun with this one.

In fairness, I’m fairly certain that we’ve all asked questions that have been…umm, questionable.

“What day of the week is Easter Sunday on?” a friend noted Tuesday night when asked what the dumbest question he has ever heard was.

“Either that, or is ‘60-Minutes’ an hour long?” he continued.

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In this world of one-upsmanship, I can do even better, however. Getting ready to go in my father’s hot tub one autumn evening, the weather turned and it began to rain. The hot tub was located a short walk outside and to the back of the home, with the nearest shelter about 15 feet away.

A friend turns to me and says, “How are we supposed to get in and out without getting wet?” Really, dude? Does that even deserve an answer?

OK, OK. That last one may or may not have been me. “Shu’up,” or “don’t judge me,” as my brother will say before anyone else can speak to prevent being the target of the next joke punch line of the evening.

The truth is, dumb questions have been a common part of everyday life since humans learned to speak. In fact, there are hundreds of stupid questions and Blippitt.com gives you all you need to get started. Hint – this is a great place to go if you can’t think of one offhand.

From the old marriage question asking for objections at a fancy wedding that took months to plan to the good old everyday questions that run through our heads such as, “How do they get the ‘Keep off the Grass’ sign on the grass?” (Thanks goes to Brain Candy Word Play for this one), there are dumb questions surrounding us.

One comedian that has made a living off these questions is Bill Engvall, better known as one of the four horseman on the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour.' For those unfamiliar with Engvall, he brilliantly pairs the question with an equally stupid answer to make his sketch work.

A great example of this is in his story about a trucker who drove down a highway and soon found his 18-wheeler stuck underneath an overpass. As the two are talking about how to get it out, a cop pulls up and from his car asks, “You get your truck stuck?”

“Bless his heart, this driver did not skip a beat and replies ‘nope, I was delivering this overpass and ran out of gas’,” Engvall said. “Here’s your sign.”

That brings me to my next point. A witty response is always, and I mean ALWAYS, appropriate when such questions are asked. Even those who get angry are bound to laugh if you line your answer up just right.

Now that you’ve heard a couple examples to start with, however, we want to know your favorite “stupidest questions of all time.” It can be an everyday dumb question, or a philosophical question with no good answer – heck, pretty much anything you can think of.

On that note, I leave you with a link to the rap artist “Common,” who turned dumb and unanswerable questions into one heck of a moneymaking pop song. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. 

It's only Wednesday, but it feels like the weekend should have been here two days ago. You have a full plate ahead, lots of work left to do, classes at or college to sit through or are just plain in need of a break. We have you covered.

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